Life Lessons...

This is a new undertaking for me here but we will give it a shot. Use this as a forum to discuss concerns, ask questions, and share resources. I hope this will become a valuable resource to my families and to those families I have not met yet. Drop me a line and let me know what you would like to see on here!

 Happy Fall!

We've all been there- so stressed over getting this child to perform, be successful, get her/his work done, take care of stuff, that we lose sight of or don't have time for enjoying the uniqueness of the child. There's so much pressure to be the perfect parent and do your best so that when we have a child who is struggling, we take it personally and feel we could do so much more. Sometimes though it comes down to prioritizing and deciding what are the lessons we want that child to learn? What is the most important thing in life? Is it straight A's, honor roll, being a star, belonging to the most extracurriculars- or is learning how to like yourself, being your own person, being comfortable with who you are? I know I am guilty of losing that perspective myself at times. I am attaching a link from a mom who has a daughter that works with a colleague of mine. She puts this in such a funny, but clear way. Thanks to her for the great message!!!

http://www.facebook.com/?sk=messages&tid=1308547726170#!/notes/lorraine-allen-rose/how-is-annie-doing-in-school/335971533729


Struggling Learners - Parents' Group- meeting March 15 at 6:30. Topic is Sensory Strategies You Can Use at Home.

How Is Annie Doing in School?

I spoke today at the Polk Family Caregivers Summit on Celebrating the Unique Role of Siblings. I had wondered about the invitation to speak since I work with children primarily, but the organizers assured me people attend with disabled children and want to hear about children's issues too. However, my audience were all caring for elderly parents or spouses and wanting information on caretaking issues with siblings. So a quick switch, turned off the Powerpoint essentially and we had an interesting discussion. I am writing about it here as what struck me was that the issues were the same for these families as for those with children with special needs. The main tools needed to help make the relationships successful and for families to thrive are open communication, being honest and straightforward, planning for the future, specifying roles for members of the family, knowing your options and resources, becoming an advocate and not being afraid to question things or to stand up for your family member. In writing the presentation, I liked that research has shown that having a member with a disability in the family often can strengthen the family and the sibling's sense of family and pride. Food for thought!!!

I spoke today at the Polk Family Caregivers Summit on Celebrating the Unique Role of Siblings. I had wondered about the invitation to speak since I work with children primarily, but the organizers assured me people attend with disabled children and want to hear about children's issues too. However, my audience were all caring for elderly parents or spouses and wanting information on caretaking issues with siblings. So a quick switch, turned off the Powerpoint essentially and we had an interesting discussion. I am writing about it here as what struck me was that the issues were the same for these families as for those with children with special needs. The main tools needed to help make the relationships successful and for families to thrive are open communication, being honest and straightforward, planning for the future, specifying roles for members of the family, knowing your options and resources, becoming an advocate and not being afraid to question things or to stand up for your family member. In writing the presentation, I liked that research has shown that having a member with a disability in the family often can strengthen the family and the sibling's sense of family and pride. Food for thought!!!

Sometimes we need a reminder that we are the boss! If we are afraid to discipline and say no, then we do a disservice to our children. The most important thing we can give them, besides our unconditional love, is consistency and follow-through. They need to know we can provide the structure their chaotic, undisciplined little minds need. When we set the limits and enforce them, they learn to think of others, respect authority, and are nicer, easier people to be around. We want to create adults that are polite, pleasant, responsible, and well-liked. It begins now, when they are young.

When you say no, stick to it.

If you threaten to take away a privilege or toy if "that" happens again, then do it.

Ignore screaming or yelling "I hate you" or whatever else they do when in their room in time out. They need to vent and they are trying to get your attention.

Don't threaten something you can't follow through on- like Santa not coming or cancelling their birthday party- we all know we can't do those things, they do too.

We teach them to ignore us- if you tell them to do something, how many times do you tell them? If they know it will take us 10 times before we blow, then they will wait until the 10th time.

3 strikes, you're out- a good number of reminders before a consequence happens.

Keep the consequence logical and related to the behavior- if they are fighting over a toy, remove the toy; if they won't clean up, then they lose TV time because there isn't any time left; if they are yelling at dinner, then they need to leave the table.

Catch them being good too- positives can work wonders, especially with those negative attention-getters!

Teach them manners- sitting quietly while you talk to someone, keeping their hands to themselves, not touching others' property, not running up and down the halls of office buildings. respecting limits and boundaries of others.

Remember- computers, TV, cell phones, video games, handheld games are all privileges! All we HAVE to provide them is a house, food, clothes..they don't need the rest so it can be earned.