Family Learning Solutions Blog - Parenting Behavioral Challenges

Have a Teenager?

nospam@example.com (Family Learning Solutions, LLC) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 21:24:00 -0500

Read on and smile, this is so true! If you don't have a teen, you will someday....

When Your Dog Turns into a Cat

Enjoying that struggling learner

nospam@example.com (Family Learning Solutions, LLC) — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 11:31:45 -0600

We've all been there- so stressed over getting this child to perform, be successful, get her/his work done, take care of stuff, that we lose sight of or don't have time for enjoying the uniqueness of the child. There's so much pressure to be the perfect parent and do your best so that when we have a child who is struggling, we take it personally and feel we could do so much more. Sometimes though it comes down to prioritizing and deciding what are the lessons we want that child to learn? What is the most important thing in life? Is it straight A's, honor roll, being a star, belonging to the most extracurriculars- or is learning how to like yourself, being your own person, being comfortable with who you are? I know I am guilty of losing that perspective myself at times. I am attaching a link from a mom who has a daughter that works with a colleague of mine. She puts this in such a funny, but clear way. Thanks to her for the great message!!!

http://www.facebook.com/?sk=messages&tid=1308547726170#!/notes/lorraine-allen-rose/how-is-annie-doing-in-school/335971533729

Struggling Learners - Parents' Group- meeting March 15 at 6:30. Topic is Sensory Strategies You Can Use at Home.

How Is Annie Doing in School?

The Lessons of Discipline

nospam@example.com (Family Learning Solutions, LLC) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 21:45:00 -0600

Sometimes we need a reminder that we are the boss! If we are afraid to discipline and say no, then we do a disservice to our children. The most important thing we can give them, besides our unconditional love, is consistency and follow-through. They need to know we can provide the structure their chaotic, undisciplined little minds need. When we set the limits and enforce them, they learn to think of others, respect authority, and are nicer, easier people to be around. We want to create adults that are polite, pleasant, responsible, and well-liked. It begins now, when they are young.

When you say no, stick to it.

If you threaten to take away a privilege or toy if "that" happens again, then do it.

Ignore screaming or yelling "I hate you" or whatever else they do when in their room in time out. They need to vent and they are trying to get your attention.

Don't threaten something you can't follow through on- like Santa not coming or cancelling their birthday party- we all know we can't do those things, they do too.

We teach them to ignore us- if you tell them to do something, how many times do you tell them? If they know it will take us 10 times before we blow, then they will wait until the 10th time.

3 strikes, you're out- a good number of reminders before a consequence happens.

Keep the consequence logical and related to the behavior- if they are fighting over a toy, remove the toy; if they won't clean up, then they lose TV time because there isn't any time left; if they are yelling at dinner, then they need to leave the table.

Catch them being good too- positives can work wonders, especially with those negative attention-getters!

Teach them manners- sitting quietly while you talk to someone, keeping their hands to themselves, not touching others' property, not running up and down the halls of office buildings. respecting limits and boundaries of others.

Remember- computers, TV, cell phones, video games, handheld games are all privileges! All we HAVE to provide them is a house, food, clothes..they don't need the rest so it can be earned.

More Sensory Integration

nospam@example.com (Family Learning Solutions, LLC) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:26:31 -0600

Different senses and sensory integration problems show up in different ways. To fully learn more about each sense and the behaviors that indicate a sensory issue, read The Out of Sync Child. This author also has a book for teachers that is composed of checklists and examples of strategies to use in the classroom. It's a great gift to give your child's teacher!!

One red flag I look for to indicate possible sensory integration issues: a child who has meltdowns frequently and has a difficult time getting it back together or being consoled, or whose meltdowns seem really intense and extreme for the incident; a child who is bouncing around the room, throwing everything hard, jumping off of everything, running into things, knocking blocks over, making lots of noise with the toys, moving frequently- these are signs of a child craving deep pressure activities.

Deep pressure activities include: carrying a backpack of books or heavy items around, pushing a laundry basket down the hall or carrying it, pushing or pulling a wagon loaded with heavy items (rocks, a bag of soil, bags of garbage or leaves), moving books in the room, putting chairs on desks, carrying the garbage out, pulling the garbage cans down the driveway, clapping erasers, erasing the board, walking up and down steps with a backpack on your back, push-ups against the wall, jumping jacks, jumping on a trampoline ( or a small exercise one) bouncing on a hippity hop, bouncing and throwing a ball.

Provide your child with the sensory "diet" they need- look for the activities that give your child the sensations and information their body iis seeking.

Sensory Integration: A Missing Piece to the Puzzle

nospam@example.com (Family Learning Solutions, LLC) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 10:21:02 -0500

I see so many children all the time for behavior issues at home and school: temper tantrums, not focusing at school, impulse control, anger issues, loud, social problems and so on. Many of these children have already been identified as ADHD, ODD, bipolar, or Autism Spectrum Disorders and are being treated for such by medical doctors and/or psychiatrists. However, an additional piece of the puzzle is often the sensory integration piece which is frequently overlooked.

Most of us think of our senses as those having to do with seeing and hearing. But we also have the sense of touch, a sense of balance, a sense of taste, a sense of smell, and a sense of the placement of our bodies in the space around us. All of these senses take in information from the world around us and help us make sense of it. These senses work together to help us remain in control of ourselves and to understand and process what is going on in our environment. When these senses do not work well together, either by being underresponsive or overresponsive, we feel dysregulated or "out of whack" so to speak.

Often our children who exhibit huge meltdowns and cannot be consoled easily or who are bouncing all over the place and can't settle down, or who are loud and boisterous, clumsy, hard on toys, rough with others, who sit and don't like to move much and are underactive, are demonstrating signs of sensory integration problems. Understanding behavior from this perspective allows us all to look at the environment differently and help these children by controlling what we can in the environment and providing the external framework they need to regulate themselves.

This is a newer areas that many teachers and doctors are still learning about but it is a key element in working with many of these children who are struggling. I'll write more about this later with ideas of strategies to help. For a quick resource, check out the suggested books under Resources on my website. I highly recommend The Out of Sync Child books by Carol Stock Kranowitz for a better explanation than I can give and for activities you can do at home. Also I found this link on Facebook which looks interesting to check out as well http://shop.sensorytools.net/ .